I’m writing a book.
Well, I’m in the middle of four actually (including my Uncle’s life story), however this one will be finished and published relatively soon. The others are more like creative outlets I visit when I feel so inclined.
The book I’m writing presently is on conscious leadership. (That’s even the working title, which is probably not very creative. Hah.)
I started a few weeks back, and have set myself a deadline to have it published by June 30.
One of the reasons I’m telling you is because in doing so I’m speaking this project into existence.
Quite some time ago I discovered that’s the way this life works. We dream something up, write it down, think about it, talk about it, take action toward it and next thing you know, it’s become our reality.
So cool.
Anyhow I’m getting side-tracked. Manifestation is not actually the point of this article.
* * *
Yesterday, a few short days after I’d finished a chapter on transparency in leadership (and how since I’d become a more transparent leader, I no longer experienced people quitting out of the blue, nor do I get to a point of terminating someone unexpectedly)…
One of my team members resigned. And I didn’t know it was coming.
Yes. The thing I’d been writing assuredly about, happened!
What a ‘perfect’ thing to occur.
It’s humbled me into remembering the very essence of this book, the reason I’m even writing it in the first place.
We never arrive.
We never have all the answers.
Nothing is ever perfect (in the way our human minds imagine perfection to be).
We’re always evolving, growing, learning and deepening our connection with self and the world around us.
It’s when we think we have something completely figured out, that we stop growing, and start energetically contracting. It can feel safe, and reassuring, and certain. Like, oh I’m so glad I worked all that out and figured it out, and now I’ll never face those challenges again. But that’s not truth, because this life and our experiences are infinitely complex (and at the same time infinitely simple, if we allow them to be by accepting the uncertain nature of our very existence).
In observing myself respond to this scenario, the following transpired:
- At first, I accepted it without much thought, getting on with everything else.
- A few hours later as it sunk in, I remembered the chapter I’d written about transparency and felt disappointed she hadn’t let me know she was looking for other work.
- Quickly though, I began to question my so-called leadership ability and wondered what more I could have done to create a safer environment for her to be open and transparent.
I saw myself at a crossroads mentally…
The path to the left involved perceiving myself as a failure, wallowing in self loathing about my lack of leadership skills, feeling shame for even thinking writing a book on conscious leadership was a good idea, and generally spiraling into a pit of ‘I suck and I’m messing this whole life thing up’ (likely canning the book writing in the process).
The path to the right was accepting myself and others for where we’re at on our journeys and the paths we choose to take, seeing the effort and positive intent that exists in every situation (nobody sets out to be an a-hole), reminding myself my leadership journey is evolving, it always will be, and giving myself a pep talk to keep going.
I chose the path to the right, asked my departing team member for some feedback to reflect on, and gave myself a little credit for how ‘consciously’ I’d moved through the entire process.
Because THAT is the whole point of the book I’m writing, and the whole point of how I try to show up in my life.
With ownership.
With awareness.
With intention.
With consciousness.
And when we show up in that way, the world around us does start to shift. Little by little. Certainly not instantly, but when we view our experience through a macro lens, we can see the positive evolution occurring over time.
And so yesterday I was reminded to keep going.
And so today I remind you to keep going too.
